1) I admit that this morning (Wednesday) at 9am was the first time I showered since Saturday night.
2) I admit that today I count making a Shutterfly album as "school" for my 9 year old. My coupon for a free album expires tomorrow, I have no time, she does have time, taught her how to make the album. There you go.
3) I admit that my son asked for crackers, cheese and Orange Crush for breakfast. And I gave it to him.
4) I admit that when I drove by West Park Baptist's beautiful new building I was plagued with envy. And then guilt for being envious. Followed by bitterness. What a yucky pill to swallow.
5) I admit that when we received the 4:25am phone call about the fire I called my mom and said a VERY bad word. My mom is traumatized. The sound of my voice saying that word rings in her ear. Sorry mom.
6) I admit I used to think Prayer Shawls were cheesy - until yesterday, when the "Knitwits" from St. Andrews Church brought a Prayer Shawl and $100 to our house. I wrapped myself in the shawl and was physically reminded of the prayers and thoughts of so many people. It is anything BUT cheesy. I might take up knitting.
7) I admit that if I stop doing I start crying.
8) I admit that stuff does matter. Stuff has meaning. We'll get new stuff. But the old stuff mattered.
9) I admit that I need to write. Blogging is cheaper than therapy. I should be paying YOU for reading this!
10) I admit that I am afraid that some people will start call George "Job". It might jinx him. I don't want him to lose his wife and children too! (Don't feel the need to reprimand me for this line of thinking, I know how wrong it is. I'm just admitting that the thought does cross my mind!)
11) I admit that Sunday and Monday I ate almost nothing. Drank a few lettuce smoothies. That's it.
12) I admit that Tuesday I ate almost everything. McDonalds, Starbucks, Cadbury Cream Egg, brownies, ice cream, red wine. I admit that this was a REALLY bad idea. Back to the lettuce smoothies!
13) I admit that I need you. Can't do it alone. Thank you ALL for your love and support. I love you!
Me and G
4 comments:
your honesty is inspiring
thank you for being brave
I really needed to see these qualities expressed by someone else
so i know that they are possible for me to express, as well.
all my love....
I admit that your blog brought tears to my eyes. You're so geniune. We love you guys.
Robin,
I love how honest you are. You are human and we all have these thoughts from time to time but most of us never admit them! Thanks for being brave and honest. You are in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time! God has a plan, have eyes to see and ears to hear and it will happen for His glory!
this is all good robin, you are processing the loss and not stuffing it as my counsellor side would say
lol
so you go girl
love ya
xoxo
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