Woman, Why Are You Crying?

"Let my heart break with the things that break the heart of God."
Bob Pierce, Founder of World Vision

My heart breaks.
I've tasted the hot, saltiness of tears too frequently this week.
But unlike the tears of previous weeks, the tears of this past week were wept with a dear friend.
As her tears flowed I held her tight.  She curled in fetal position as my arms wrapped around her and we wept while George prayed.

My heart is broken.
The heart of God is broken.
We weep.

Twice in one week I sat across the table from my friend Terri Ann and listened to her say the following words, once to me as I grieved our loss in the fire, and a week later to our friend as this friend wept in sadness and loneliness:
"God is not looking down helplessly or with judgement as you cry.  No, no, no.  God sees you weeping and He holds you in his arms and weeps with you."

I'm not done with my own grieving.  Tears still frequent my cheeks.  Yet here I am, thrust in a position to comfort.  Amazing.  Amazing how God so quickly shows me a purpose for my tears.  One among many, I'm sure.

The words I write today are words I wrote in a private journal last week for me alone.  But today I rewrite them for my friend who weeps deeper than I'll ever weep.

In the midst of all that is going on it's Holy Week.  The days between Palm Sunday and Easter.
The days we walk with Jesus through the last days of his earthly life.
The days we remember praise, laziness, denial, betrayal, crucifiction and weeping.
We remember.

Memories of another church calendar holiday come to mind.
Christmas 1999.  Advent.  A time of waiting.  Mary, waiting for the birth of Jesus.  The Jewish people, waiting for a Saviour, a king, a Messiah.
We were in waiting.
Two weeks over due with our first born.
Over due at Christmas.  Waiting.
It brought a new depth to the Advent season, a season of waiting.

Lent 2011.
A season of repentance, rememberance and rebirth.
A season of great grief.
A season of great joy.
And here we are.  In the midst of great grief.  On the cusp of great joy.
As we read through the gospels and reflect on the days of Holy Week, it's not too difficult to put ourselves in the shoes of the disciples and the followers of Jesus.
We don't understand what's going on.
We ask, "why?".
We don't see the big picture.
We grieve.
We weep.
We make mistakes.
We are forgiven.
It brings new depth to the Lenten season.

I am touched anew by the story of another Mary, Mary Magdalene.
Jesus has been crucified.  His body wrapped in linens and placed in a tomb.  Mary goes to the tomb and finds the stone rolled away and the linens lying there.
She stood outside the tomb - weeping.
She didn't understand.
She didn't see the big picture.  For that matter, she had no clue that there was a big picture.
She asked, "why?".
Her eyes were swollen with tears.  Filled to the brim and overflowing.
And then he's there, Jesus - standing in front of her.  Only her eyes are so full of tears she doesn't recognize him.  Everything's fuzzy from the crying.
I've been there - trying to read but unable to because the tears in my eyes make the words illegible.  Everything blurry from tears.

Jesus stands by her and says these words,
"Woman, why are you crying?"
She doesn't recognize Jesus.  Blurry eyes from tears.
She explains her pain while he listens.

And then he says her name, "Mary".
Immediately she recognizes him and her grief turns to great joy.
I jump back to John 16 where Jesus says to his friends:
"You will grieve.  But your grief will turn to great joy."

Isn't that awesome to hear.  I connect with it.
That's so "me".
I weep.  I struggle to see Jesus in these situations.
I'm waiting to hear him call my name.
I am thankful for the permission to grieve.
I am hopeful that my grief will turn to great joy.

For my friend:
I pray that you will hear the voice of Jesus as he calls your name.
I pray that you will find find hope.  
I pray that as you weep you will anticipate great joy.


Jesus said these words:
"Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." John 16:22

Now is the time of grief.
It is in our grief that we hear Jesus calling our name.
And so we put our hope in God.

We trust that we will see Jesus, we will see his hand in even the worst situations.
We will rejoice.
And no one will take away our joy.
No one.

Again, I wrote these words a few weeks ago for me. Today I rewrite them and now I post them as words of comfort for a dear friend whose tears won't stop.

My heart breaks, as does the heart of God.