I Admit: Part Deux

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This was a post I wrote yesterday.  It's very angsty.  I wasn't going to hit "publish post".  But I will.

It comes with a few warnings:
Don't read this if ....
1) You are already in a funk.
2) You are the kind of Christian who thinks we should just smile and say, "It's ok, Jesus will make it all better."
3) You are tempted to reply with platitudes like, "It's just a building.  Or it's just stuff."

We needed an escape last night, so we rented "The Fighter".  At the end of the movie we were reminded how hard everyday life is for so many, many people.

George remarked:
"Our life isn't that hard.  It's just hard to figure out right now."
He's right.  It's just hard to figure out what to do today.

Today is a new day.  More grey skies.  More rain.  But new.  Fresh.
Here's where I was yesterday:

***

First day back in regular routine.

I admit that today was the hardest day yet.

The rain didn't help.
Grey skies.
Cranky kids.

I kept thinking about our "stuff" exposed to all this rain.
No more chances to salvage remnants.
A big, soppy, sooty, black mess.
It's all the more real today.  All that we worked so hard on is gone.
Dreams gone up in smoke.

I'm just sad.
I won't be stuck here forever.
To be honest, I don't think I've been here before.
It's not a good place to be.

Spring is on the horizon.
Tulips budding.
Daffodils making their way up.
But we're not there yet.

I needed to create.
It was cathartic.
Me, the computer and PSE ...